7.24.13: TOD: Rush Hour

            So…this week…

I’m coaching at a lacrosse (obviously…because what else do I do with my life) camp. Since I live locally, my lucky butt gets to get itself up super early to teach super adorable Kindergarteners how to play the fastest game on two feet (P.S.—I didn’t make that up; It really is called the fastest game on two feet. I dunno where that came from).

            Anyway, some of you may be familiar with such a thing called rush hour? Well, I am not. But, after three days, I think I may have got this rush hour traffic thing kind of down:

1.     Get up and leave earlier than you have to. NO.MATTER.WHAT. Tired? SO WHAT. Suck it up and go get yourself a latte from Starbucks.

2.     Eat breakfast before you leave. Driving on an empty stomach is terrible. Driving on an empty stomach while you aren’t moving even though you’re supposed to be moving due to rush hour traffic is like terrible being on steroids. You.will.want.to.bang.your.head.against.your.steering.wheel.

3.     Rush hour is inevitable. You will hit traffic (unless you leave ungodly early…at like 5am…then I think you’re safe…but that also depends on your commute. For your sake, reader person, I hope that you don’t have a long commute).

4.     The road is filled with idiots. I wish I were kidding about this one but just like the world, the roads have their fair share of idiots. Assholes, too (but I was trying not to curse so I was going to leave that one out…. But I really just couldn’t because it’s too true. Oops. Oh, well.). Don’t be one of those said-idiots. I beg of you (no, seriously. I will literally get down on my knees and beg right now.). Don’t text, for the love of God use your blinkers, and make sure you have a banging playlist to rock out to.

5.     The middle lane is your best friend. The fast lane just plain sucks. If you're in the slow lane, and someone is coming onto the highway, PLEASE LET THEM IN. Think about how you would feel if you were trying to get onto the highway and some jerk wouldn't let you merge. Then you'd be forced into the trees. Don't be that guy who forces other drivers into the trees. 

6.     Patience is a virtue.