11.18.12: T.O.D.

         1. Last night I went to the city with my boyfriend. I got all dressed up with my pea coat and fancy boots. Buying a train ticket has become second nature for me. I can do it without thinking about it now. People kept stopping me on the streets of Times Square and were asking me for directions. I guess, to them, I looked like I belonged in the city...And as my boots were clicking along between Lexington and East 42nd, I realized something: I felt like I belonged in the city, too. I guess somewhere along the way, and I couldn't tell you when, I had actually grown up...Which then led me to my second realization: As unsure as I was about my future, last night showed me that I was ready to take it on. 

         2. This is about something that I had to deal with in my past: I think that I got lost along the way there for a little bit. I think I got a little beat up and bruised and instead of conquering it, I let it conquer me. I think that I'm never going to let that happen again. 

We all have targets on our backs for one thing or another. Accept that target and the fire that gets shot at you. It means you're the best and people want your target. Don't let them take it. Be relentless and keep fighting; always keep fighting.

I stopped fighting and I let it get the best of me. They said "oh, you're too young to have to be dealing with this," and "people are manipulative but it'll go away." Well, guess what? It didn't go away but I still dealt with it. 

You don't want to stop fighting because then you'll have to dig yourself out of a hole that you didn't even create for yourself. and guess what else, sweetheart? All those people shooting at you had your grave dug for you long before you even knew you were even in a hole.

It took me a while to realize what was happening and how to find myself again...You need something that'll take you away from it all. I used love; The love from the people who did support me and the love I felt towards the situation despite the people who wanted to tear me down. 

There was one person who really got me back to where I was before all the targets and all of the shooting and they don't even know it. One day, though, I'll tell them and then maybe they'll tell me something I never knew either.
3. This is the most accurate thing I've ever seen:

4. I seriously hate blogging without my laptop.