One
of our hearts was going to end up broken. I wasn’t sure whose it would be or
when it would happen but I did know that it would all come tumbling down and
there’d be nothing that I could do about it. The realization hit me with a
force so real that my breath was taken from my lungs. I bit my lip to try and keep
the tears back. A shiver shot through my body.
“Hey,
hey, it’s alright. Are you cold?” He moved the blanket further up the bed and
rubbed my right arm. I turned on my side and brought the blanket up to my face.
“Yeah,
I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Lie.
“Are
you sure?”
“Of
course. I’m with you. I’m fine.” Lie.
“Okay.
Just let me know.”
“I
will.” Lie. He kissed my forehead and turned back to sleep, leaving me alone
with my thoughts. I turned back toward him and rested my head on his chest. I
listened to his steady heartbeat: thump, thump. Thump, thump. I drew circles on
his chest until I heard his heavy breathing. I looked up at him then, trying to
memorize his face. I kissed his cheek and crawled out of bed making sure not to
wake him. I tiptoed out into the living room where I was greeted by four of his
roommates. We exchanged high fives and fist pounds before we all settled in for
Sunday night football. Within minutes of the game and for no particular reason
at all, we were laughing so hard that our faces hurt. When I could catch my
breath again, I looked around the room. I’d miss all of this…but as it turns
out, I fell in love with someone I could never have.
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