10.20.13: Living Lies

Okay, if i'm being completely honest (which I usually am), I really couldn't tell you where the inspiration for this post came from...I hope that you all like it regardless!

“I’d rather live in the lie then accept the truth,” is what she told me. And that’s what she did. Her world wasn’t real…but it was to her. And she was happy. And I never understood how she did it because she seemed fine for the most part.

“Money is no object,” is what she told me. And that’s exactly what it wasn’t. Whatever she wanted, that’s what she got. And I don’t know how she did it because the money never seemed to run out.

“It’s personality,” is what she told me. And that’s exactly what it was. She had this sway about her. People fell mute when she spoke so they could all hear what she had to say. And I don’t know how she did it…there must’ve been sunbeams shooting out from all around her.

But I knew better because I knew her. Underneath the rays of gold that emanated from her, and her dazzling white smile, and those sparkling eyes, there was pain. But I was the only one who knew. I was the only one that she let see.

“It’s starting to get to me,” is what she told me. “I’m starting to lose it. And I just want to lie in bed all day.” And I agreed with her…if only to ease her mind. She couldn’t do it all but she wanted to show the world that she could. And the whole world believed the lie…the perfectly, imperfect lie.

How do you do it all? They always questioned. And she just shrugged, like it was nothing. But it was something. And she knew that she couldn’t do it all on her own, but she was determined…determined to be known, determined to be above the rest, determined to be admired (or envied…whichever came first).

She was drowning slowly, oh so slowly. She felt immobile. And I didn’t know how to help her. So I held her tight and I told her I’d be there. She knew I would be.

We parted ways. I told her to stay strong. But before I left, I stole one last look at her and watched the girl who believed her own lie…I called out to her:

“I’d admire you. I’d think you could do it all.” And she smiled her brilliant smile, and it reached her eyes. She mouthed a “thank you” and I nodded at her. And then I watched her walk away, almost wishing that I had a lie of my own.