Monday, November 5, 2012

11.5.12: Sunshine Days

*not based on real life

You’ll end up breaking my heart…
But I’ll still love you anyway.
S.
I stuck the sticky-note to his bedpost and ran my finger over the sticky part to make sure that it was actually going to stay. I did it three more times for good measure. After I was content with my note, I slowly began to untangle myself from his body being as careful as possible to not wake him. As my feet touched the ground though, he stirred a little. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him grasp at the air where I was just laying. I froze in my tracks. I let out a breath and prayed that he please stay in his dreamland. I wanted a clean getaway…this was technically my goodbye after all. I slowly turned to catch one last glimpse of him before I left for good. He looked so peaceful. I tiptoed over to his bedside and kissed his forehead. Boy, would I miss this boy…but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I gathered my things and made my way toward the door. The tears were pressing from behind my eyes before my hand was even on the doorknob. As soon as I had closed his door as quietly as I possibly could, I let the tears free. I ran toward the elevator and tried to wipe them away from my eyes. I needed to get to work. My boss couldn’t see me like this. This was New York. New York didn’t have time for the weak and I was the best. The best didn’t have time to be weak or to show anyone that she was vulnerable. I had about 30 seconds to get myself together before this elevator hit the lobby. I took one more deep breath, wiped my eyes one last time, and allowed one more sniffle free before adjusting a big ole’ smile on my face. The elevator doors opened and I stuck a red stiletto out to show all of New York that I was back and ready to go. I walked out of the elevator with my head high and flashed a smile at the receptionist at the desk. I nodded at her.
“Good morning, Brenda!” I tried to sound as perky as possible.
“Morning, Miss Hamilton. You’ll be delighted to know that today will be all sunshine.” I nodded once more at her.
“Thank you, Brenda. I hope that you have an excellent day!” And with that, I pushed through the revolving doors out into the brisk fall day that was “all sunshine" and all mine.

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