8.12.13: Just Keep Smiling

            The car’s engine roared underneath us but I hardly heard it. He slipped his free hand into mine and squeezed it tight. I breathed in, closed my eyes, smiled, and breathed out. Everything was right in the world.

            “You look beautiful,” he whispered. I felt my cheeks flush. I leaned forward in my seat to look up at the sky. The stars seemed brighter tonight.

            “Where are we going?” I asked. He wouldn’t tell me. It was a surprise.

            “You’ll see.” He pulled my hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss. I didn’t ask again.

A half an hour later, we were pulling up to an adorable little house with a white picket fence.

“Where are we?” I questioned. He hesitated so long that I wasn’t sure that he’d heard me.

“My grandmother’s.” The shock on my face was clearly apparent. I thanked God that it was almost 9 o’clock at night; there was no way that he’d be able to see it.

I wasn’t expecting this.

It was overwhelming.

I was comfortable. Let me clarify: I’m awkward. I get nervous around families. I did not get nervous once. They made me feel like I belonged. Did I belong? He seemed so content.

He showed me a new side of himself today. And although it was a side that he deemed completely regular, it was something completely new for me. And I was amazed by it. And I wish I could thank him for allowing me into that part of his life…considering that I hadn’t shown or had the chance to reciprocate the action.

I looked over at him, speaking to his uncle, and was struck by an overwhelming swell in my chest that made me want to cry tears of joy. I intently watched him and was amazed by his poise and the way that he carried himself. He seemed mature and when he looked over at me and smiled, my heart sped up.

I needed to get out of there.

The feeling in my chest expanded and then a new emotion started to appear. I was proud. I was proud that he had picked me. I was proud that I was sitting there, with his entire family, as if it had happened a million times before. And I was proud of our relationship and all that we worked on.

If I could’ve, I would’ve started crying right there. Emotions flooded my body from all sides. On the inside, I was bursting with love and the feeling of being loved. On the outside, I smiled as if none of this had ever just gone through my head.